soapnetdesp_300Client: SoapNet /
Disney Cable Group
Agency: Enveloping

As a stringer for the initial launch of, I covered everything from Paris Hilton and The Hills to Lost and Desperate Housewives. While the form was highly structured, I still managed to take a few liberties. 

The follow recap of the time Edie got crabs on Desperate Housewives is just one of the dozens (and dozens) of recaps, reviews and stories I wrote for SoapNet.


Edie has crabs and Victor’s crotch is itching!

In a Word:

Witness the power of social (ok, sexual) networking: Edie gets crabs, so Carlos has crabs, which means Gabrielle probably does too. So, when Gaby’s hubby Victor starts digging at his crotch in the middle of a stump speech… time to call the C.D.C.


We would have pegged Edie for a full-Brazilian kind of girl (Gabby, too), so where, exactly are these critters hanging out? Now Carlos… he could host a crab civilization in that jungle of his. Thankfully, a nasty-licorice-smelling, crab-killing shampoo takes care of everything. Until Edie sees Victor and catches the delicate scent of licorice on the air. And now she knows: Carlos has been cheating on her all along.

Meanwhile, the ladies throw Bree an unwanted (surprise!) baby shower. Guess who shows up? Rex’s mom, Phyllis, who finds Bree’s stash of fake bellies. Bree tells Phyllis the truth (Danielle’s pregnant, hiding in a nunnery, blah, blah, blah). Phyllis promises to keep Bree’s secret (for Danielle’s sake), leaves the party and drives straight to the convent to bust Danielle out.

Our Take:

Finally, someone has popped the bubble around Bree’s crazy pregnancy scheme. But Susan and the boys-next-door story, with the cookies and the dog and the sooo desperate need to be liked… We agree with Mike: let it go Susan. Just let it go.

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